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Some debate rages over the veracity of atrocious B-horror movie Birdemic: Shock and Terror, though it gains notoriety regularly through its own purely terrible merits. Some have suggested the film to have been made as a joke, an ironic entry by a lover of trash cinema. I doubt this. I believe it to be an honest entry into the pantheon of schlock.

For one thing, any true cult film lover knows that the one sin of junk, the thing that kills guilty pleasures, is boredom. Long scenes of nothing happening dull the interest, and Birdemic plays these like it has stock in them. This is not to say that the entire movie is boring, but until the birds finally attack the pace is molasses slow and it remains excruciatingly dull in the moments between laughter until the very end. It also has a very, very loose message about global warming and man’s general mistreatment of the planet that feels too tacked on to be a joke. I think anyone trying to create something bad would blend it into the plot more seamlessly by nature.

The bird attacks themselves, and defenses from them, are largely repetitive and overly relied on once they debut. While certain elements about them amuse (fly-by-killings and inexplicable explosiveness) they mostly sit in one spot, doing their best worst Video Toaster motions. Interest wanes in them all too quickly.

Nathalie and Rod, in scenes all too reminiscent of The Room, get to know each in the long pre-bird act. I could tell you nothing about them other than that he works vaguely in sales, making $1 million deals, and she models ugly fashions. They are non-entities, though, as all that they will do from here on in is run, shoot and let the kids get candy. Oh, they find some kids.

The movie has barely any editing. Actors go off mark, shots are held too long and the music makes absolutely no sense whatsoever. The most dramatic piece of the movie plays over a car backing out of a driveway. Outside of brief moments of sheer mind-boggling logic, though, Birdemic has no real personality, and this is its downfall. Movies can be weird, shocking and ridiculous, but usually this leaves a mark, and I don’t believe Birdemic will for its lack of character. 1 star

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2 Comments

  1. Thank you for helping me come to terms with my inability to make it to a screening. I’m guessing this one will play better with the fast-forward option on-hand.

    And I had such high hopes for it! That is to say, such LOW hopes…

  2. I know, I’m going to be in the monitory on this one but this just isn’t that fun to watch. You’ll miss nothing on video, but do have some help. It won’t work alone. Somebody has to crack wise.


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